Name: Martyn Johnson

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Award Category: Inspirational Father

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My Plea:

Inspirational – it’s a word that conjures up images of many people from Nelson Mandela and Winston Churchill to Anne Frank and Mahatma Gandhi. It’s certainly not something that I ever thought would be used to describe me.

Back in January 2017 my wife, Emma, and I found out that we were expecting a new addition to our family. Our daughter Phoebe was to become a big sister. We were excited at the news and expected everything to progress “normally”. Unfortunately, this was not to be the case. A week after finding out we were expecting Emma started spotting and began to experience intense pain. As a result, we made an appointment at the EPADs unit for an early scan. As we approached the scan, we were expecting the worst so when the sonographer showed us a little bean with a heartbeat, we were initially delighted and felt reassured. This feeling was short lived as we waited to see a doctor, thinking that this was standard procedure. The doctor explained that there was an unknown mass in Emma’s uterus, and we were to return the following week for a follow up scan to see if there had been any change.

The next week continued with Emma experiencing more pain and bleeding and at the next scan we were informed that the mass had grown to 8cm and that it was a blood clot that had formed from internal bleeding. The next scan, a week after, showed that the clot had increased to 10cm. Over the next couple of weeks Emma continued to experience the pain and bleeding that she had done before, but at 12 weeks Emma had a huge bleed in the night. We were both convinced that Emma had miscarried, and we were distraught. Two days later we had another scan, where we were convinced, we would be told that they could not find a heartbeat. Instead, the scan showed baby had grown and the heartbeat was strong. The other positive was that most of the clot had gone. Naturally we began to feel more optimistic.

At the beginning of April Emma treated me to a birthday trip to London. The trip started well enough, but during a trip to the theatre Emma experienced another very heavy bleeding episode. Not long after this we had our 20-week scan and everything seemed to be positive, so naturally we started to get more excited about the future. A week after the scan Emma was admitted onto the labour ward after having a very big bleeding episode and losing a significant amount of blood. The bleeding settled down and Emma was discharged a couple of days later. Unfortunately, this was to be short lived and 24 hours later Emma was readmitted with more heavy bleeding.

After this latest episode we had another scan and there was no further explanation for the bleeding, the baby was doing well, but Emma had lost some of her waters. We were reassured that the waters could get replenished, so we were sent home. Once again this was a 24-hour arrangement because the next day Emma experienced heavy bleeding and some contractions. From this point in early May Emma stayed in hospital for over a week, continuing to experience heavy bleeding and contractions.
At 22 weeks plus 3 days Emma was scanned again, this was after a particularly bad few days where Emma had lost a significant amount of blood in a short space of time and had received several blood transfusions. Cumulatively it was around 6 litres of blood and it didn’t show any signs of stopping. At the scan it was confirmed that there was no fluid around the baby. Emma went back to the ward and I returned to work. Emma was spoken to by 3 midwives and a consultant after the scan where she was told “I’m sorry, we’re going to have to terminate the pregnancy. There is no fluid around the baby. It is not viable at almost 23 weeks and its lungs won’t work properly. You are losing too much blood and it’s dangerous. Your husband needs a wife and your daughter needs a mum.” Emma called me straight away and told me that we had a decision to make. This decision was the hardest decision either of us have ever made and is one that no one should really have to make. In the end we agreed that terminating the pregnancy was the right thing to do, the baby would face huge odds to overcome and grow strong, and if we continued with the pregnancy there was a realistic chance that we would lose both Emma and the baby.
Over the next 48 hours we signed papers, Emma took a pill, and we made decisions we never thought we would ever have to. I slept with Emma in the room on the labour ward and at 8:07am on Friday 26th May 2017 our daughter, Faith was born weighing 1lb 4oz. She was born at 22 weeks plus 5 days, and she was absolutely perfect, with 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes. She also looked like her big sister when she was born.

During the 48 hours that followed we stayed in the bereavement suite at the hospital and we shared precious moments with our daughter, we read to her and cuddled her. I pushed her in a push chair to the hospital chapel where we had her blessed.

After this was the planning of our daughter’s funeral, something no parent should have to ever do. We tried to make it as special as we could because Faith is such a special part of our family.

A couple of months after Faith’s funeral I decided that I wanted to do something that would raise awareness of bay loss and raise funds for the charity that supported us after the loss of Faith. I decided that I was going to run 159 miles for Faith, 1 mile for every day that Emma carried Faith. The money would be used to refurbish a new bereavement suite for other families that find themselves in a similar situation to us.

I have never been a runner, so this was going to be a big challenge for me. Prior to completing the challenge, the furthest, I had ever run was 10km (6.1 miles). After completing the challenge, I had run 5 10k’s, 5 10 milers and 6 half marathons including the Great North Run, I was even joined by Phoebe for a 1.5km fun run as she wanted to join me in raising money for Faith. I completed this challenge in January 2019 and have managed to raise over £2,500 for the bereavement suite. Throughout the challenge the thought of what Emma and Faith went through kept me going and helped me to break through the many walls that I encountered.

As I was preparing for the final event of my challenge in January of this year, we found out that Emma was pregnant once again, and unfortunately, she started experiencing the same symptoms as with Faith’s pregnancy. There were many similarities, but also some differences and it was these differences that we held on to in the hope that the outcome would be different.

As the weeks passed, we had numerous scans where blood clots were identified, measured, they grew and then one Saturday Emma had an extremely large bleed which resulted in the clots being passed. We hoped this would be the end of the issues, but it was not to be. Emma continued to experience heavy bleeds, and, in the end, she was admitted to hospital at the end of March. She stayed in hospital until the middle of May. Over the weekend she had a very large bleed and it was decided to transfer her to Hull in the hope that if the pregnancy could continue for 4/5 weeks longer then she could be transferred back to York where they would be able to look after the baby if it was born prematurely.

On the morning of 23rd May as I was about to leave to go to work, I got a phone call saying that Emma was in labour and that we were going to have a baby. Emma was 24 weeks plus 4 days at this point. I arrived at the hospital and walked into a delivery room full of midwives, doctors and consultants. A very quick decision was made to perform an emergency caesarean section, so I was left in the delivery room alone while they took Emma to theatre. After an hour of waiting a midwife returned and told me that we had a daughter and that they were going to be taking her to NICU shortly. I was taken to a corridor on the labour ward and saw my daughter for the first time as she was wheeled to NICU by the team of neonatal nurses who helped to deliver her.

Rosie May Johnson was born weighing 1lb 3oz. She spent 10 weeks on NICU in Hull and had a lot of challenges to face. She was then transferred back to York where she continued to make good progress and thrived with gaining weight and coming off oxygen. Eventually Rosie was discharged on 31st August, a week before her due date, and we have now started to bond as a family and our lives are starting to return to normal.

All of the things that we have experienced as a family over the past 3 years has made us stronger, and in the times that Emma has spent in hospital, or unable to really be the mother she wants to be to Phoebe, I’ve tried to hold everything together and make sure that we are able to come out the other end stronger. It hasn’t been easy, there have been many tears, many sleepless nights and so much anxiety and fear around the future, but we have manged it. The reason I have been able to do this is the support network that we have, both family and friends, but mainly because of the ladies in my life. I would do absolutely anything I can to make them happy and make sure that they are as safe as possible. Emma is the love of my life and I couldn’t contemplate life without her. Phoebe is such a well-adjusted 4-year-old, and she has made both Emma and I proud with how she has understood what happened with Faith, and with how she has dealt with all the issues with Rosie’s pregnancy. I’m lucky to have the wife and three daughters that I have, and they inspire me to do everything I have done.

What Others Have Said

Our daughter, Faith May was born on Friday 26th May 2017 at 8.07am, weighing 1lb 4. She was 22+5 weeks with perfect fingers and toes and looked just like her big sister. He cried as he held her for the first time. In the next 36 hours we had with her, he was her Daddy. Read her a story, pushed her in a pregnancy to the hospital chapel, held her and loved her. He carried me every step of the way, planning her funeral, looking after me and Phoebe our daughter. He read so bravely at Faith’s funeral a reading he had chosen. A couple of months after Faith’s death, Martyn said that he was going to run 159 miles for Faith. A Mile for each day I carried Faith.